Sorry I haven't updated like I said I was going to. Mr routhefledermaus and I are off on a mini vacation. It's always nice to go out on vacation with the mister.
Today I was thinking a bit about my past. I know that sometimes I need to just leave the past in the past but there are also times when I need to think about it so I can leave it behind. Today I realized while on a walk with a friend that I tend to use self deprecating humor as a shield. If someone says something about my weight I tend to make a joke. I need to learn to stop that. I need to learn that if someone says, "Hey, you're fat" that I can say, "And? Your point is?" and leave it at that. Not that easy though. Years of being put down and things like that have made it hard for me to get over that.
I also need to not get upset with myself that I can't get over it right away. It took years of being put down to get to where I am it will take some time to not let it bother me any more. That is okay though. Time for me to take charge and stop the body loathing and learn that it is okay to love myself. If someone doesn't like it that is their problem.
I will try to get back to the stories I have to tell and the weight 'issues' when I return. Thanks for reading.
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